There are many ways of praying. You can pray using and reading the bible. It’s called lectio divina. Or you can do meditative prayer. You meditate, focus your thoughts and feelings on to Jesus and keep repeatedly saying Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Or you pray the rosary, which is one of my favorite. So far, the most effective prayer for me is when I have my very own personal session of praise and worship. This is when I praise and worship Him by singing. This is the time when I feel loved, I feel in awe and amazed at the greatness of God. This is when I can learn to develop the gift of praying in tounge and singing in spirit. Very moving and touching and personal. This is the moment when I can be intimate with God. The moment when I can listen to His Will and Word. The moment when I can discover His prodigious sense of humor. The moment when I seek discernment and Jesus as the only Wisdom answer all my questions.
But tonight, God showed me that there’s another kind of prayer. He has made me understand that tears and crying are indeed the language to express our emotions.
As I lied in my bed, I started talking to Jesus, the same way I talk to my best friends. I started telling Him how miserable I’ve been. I started telling Him this burden I have been having and I started to cry. I cried so hard and I could feel the pain inside my heart. I remember saying this Jesus while crying,”Wasn’t it said in the bible that you were moved with compassion whenever you saw a great multitude? Weren’t you moved with compassion when a leper came to you? Didn’t you also have compassion on a widow whose only son died and you raised him from death? Will you be moved to seeing me crying so hard like this, Jesus? Will you also moved seeing me drowned in my river of tears?”
Nothing happened. I was still crying like crazy and kept saying “Help me Jesus, help me Jesus”. I couldn’t hear Jesus saying something to me. It wasn’t like the other day when I was in my personal praise and worship session when Jesus spoke to me asking me to trust Him and questioning my little faith. It was such a clear voice. But tonite, there was no voice. Jesus was so quite tonite.
Then I stopped crying. And then I started to collect myself. And there it was! I realized I wasn’t crying anymore. All of sudden, the fear, confussion, sadness, the pain and hurt that I was feeling was completely gone. And I was left with peace. I felt so peaceful, I no longer felt the burden, the pain, the sadness. All I could feel was a complete awe of the greatness of God.
Jesus, you have never failed me. Neither have you disappointed in me. You understand my needs. When I cry hysterically, you know I don’t need words. You know that I need peace and joy after a series of hysterical cry. And that’s exactly what you have given me tonight.
Tears and crying are the language that Jesus understand. Tears and crying don’t need words, therefore Jesus response by not saying words but He gave me peace. Tears and crying are indeed prayer, and Jesus answers every prayer. And He did.
As I was sitting on my bed and still in complete awe, amazed by the power of His love who has given me peace after the pouring rain of tears, I started to smile. I remember the other day when I was doing my personal praise and worship session. I was crying as well back then and I could here Jesus promising me,”For every tear that you shed, I will keep them in a jar or two and I will count each of them. I will measure them for I will turn them into laughter and joy in the future. And I will multiply them in return!”. Yes, after I heard Jesus’ promise I cried again. This time, it was cry because of joy and awe.
Jesus, in my tears and hysterical cry, you find me. You hear my crying and you immediately come to carry me. You answer me in silence and quietness.
And I am left in awe, deeply amazed by Your Power.
Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
5 Those who plant in tears
will harvest with shouts of joy.
6 They weep as they go to plant their seed,
but they sing as they return with the harvest.
Tonight’s experience reminds me of the words of that beautiful song, “Still” written and sung by Reuben Morgan
Hide me now
Under your wings
within your mighty hand
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust
Thank you Almighty Father, for Your Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ.