A couple I know from my parish’s catholic charismatic prayer group invited us to their daughter’s holy matrimony yesterday at a church nearby. It was a great ceremony, wonderful flower arrangement, amazing voices coming from the choir, great homily delivered by the priest.And as usual, that part when the bride and groom must come to their parents asking for the blessings, will always be the part that makes tears fall down, that touches most the heart of all mothers or daughters or any female species attending the wedding.
I went to the wedding just by myself. No date because I simply think I didn’t need a date to accompany me there. As I was driving home, I put some music on and there was this song by Train playing on my music player in my car. The song was Marry Me. Did I cry when I listened to the song? Did it make me sad? Did it make me question my state of being at the moment? Did it make me wonder why haven’t anyone asked to marry me? Well, no. No is the answer to all the questions above. I tried to find my bitterness or sadness or self-pity in me while listening to the song. I couldn’t find any bitter feeling. All I could feel was that everything was alright. Everything is in the right place. I’m alright and I won’t change any single thing. Yes, I am still married according to catholic canon law and I’m already divorced based on civil law. Yes, I am open to God’s will to reconcile me and the father of my children and our both extended families, yet I keep praying for one more chance to remarry when God permits the annulment of my first marriage. Yes, I went to the wedding alone, no date. In fact most of the time I go to weddings without dates. No, I am not in a relationship though I look forward to falling in love and let myself be loved again. Yes, friends keep asking me who I’m going out with, they wonder when I’m gonna get marry again, and they keep asking why I’ve always been single in recent time.
It doesn’t bother me anymore. It used to be annoying in the past. I didn’t fancy going to the wedding, I hated going to events by myself, it bothered me much when I didn’t have any dates. And yes I would’ve cried and I’d have gone depressed back then when I drove home from a wedding and listened to Train’s Marry Me. But not anymore. Because today, I feel fine. Everything is in the right place. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m happy, full of joy and calm and at peace!
And it is true and accurate what the the daily reflection written by One Bread One Body (www.presentationministries.com) says about peace provided by God for us. Its reflection on Sunday’s scripture readings just perfectly describes that inner peace i’ve been experiencing lately. Let me just copy and paste for you all here:
Peace in the Bible is not what our culture means by peace. Many people consider peace to be a sense of contentment and security. The Bible’s meaning for peace is based on the Hebrew “shalom.” Shalom means order and harmony. Shalom-peace means that everything is in its proper place. The Lord masterfully made this world with a physical, psychological, social, and spiritual ecology. When everything is in its proper place, we have paradise; we have shalom-peace. Shalom implies repentance for our sins and the submission of our lives and lifestyles to God’s authority. Of course, this can only be done by grace.
“Grace and peace be yours.” — 1 Thessalonians 1:1